Leaving Tomorrow for New York1:05 AM
I leave tomorrow morning for my flight to New York and everything has been so chaotic these last couple days.
I have so much to do and so little time. I've been trying to balance packing and spending time with friends and family. Which lately, I've been spending more time with others rather than packing. So now I'm struggling to get my entire life packed all within 3 suitcases. Let me tell you, it's a challenge. I'm so excited to see my boyfriend in New York. We've been in a long distant relationship for so long that I'm glad to finally see the distance between us come to a hault. Yet, as I move forward, it saddens me to know what I'm leaving behind. I've been so caught up busy packing and organizing my life for this huge transition that I haven't allowed any time for this move to really sink in. To see how it's effecting my family, my friends, my true loved ones. It's a bitter sweet feeling and a roller coaster of emotions. My phone has been going off all day throughout the week from loved ones trying to squeeze some time with me which honestly has been difficult to manage. I've even noticed some have even been picking fights with me which seemed rather intentional. I didn't understand at first why they chose to spend their last few days with me, arguing. It didn't make any sense to me. But I realize now, that it's their way of dealing with my move. To get angry at me just makes it easier on them to let me go. I even realized during this move, who my true friends are and who in my family really love me. The ones that made it a point to spend time with me even if it required cancelling pre-planned engagements, calling off work, staying up late beyond their norm just to talk to me a little longer, making the longest drive to come see me, etc. Granted there are exceptions. But it was obvious who really cared as well it was obvious who was flakey and full of excuses beyond various reasons. I've dealt with a lot of flakey people in my life to know that I'm numb to it and find it humorous. Well, what I can say to my loved ones is, I am still Arlene and I always will be Arlene. I am the same person you loved and I will be the same person who loves you back. As long as you keep me in your life, I as well will keep you in mine.
I Love You More...